When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
