The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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