The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
