I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
