doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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