My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
