all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
