pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
My dick has a subreddit
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
