Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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