In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
