did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
