Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
