So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
the night ended with taco bell and tears
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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