Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
