wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
This baby is an asshole
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
