she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
