i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
