were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Randomize
