then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
