What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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