Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
This is classic penis vs brain.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
