I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
