she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
