I wannas sexs uuuuu
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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