so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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