The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
