Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
