you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
