DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
