Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He kissed a someone with a penis
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
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