He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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