Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
