There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
