Tell her she can't have a vagina
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize