You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
