if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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