It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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