lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
