There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
