you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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