At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
