i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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