he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
