Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
nut hugger
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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