Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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