no you cant smoke seaweed
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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