You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
