My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
