Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
