u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
It's shark week go big or go home
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
