You made me cry and you don't even care
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
