Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
