i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
