He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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