I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
