You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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