remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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